Listening to him sing gives me goosebumps. It makes me feel alive. It makes me want to feel things fully without holding back.
I know I have trouble doing that, experiencing things head-on, good or bad. When I'm having fun with my friends sometimes I hold myself back, and remind myself that it'll end eventually. When I get disappointed, I tell myself it really wasn't all that important, and I push it aside. I think that's how I'm able to deal with things like break ups and failure pretty well.
I learned about self-deception, avoidance and acceptance in my psychology seminars, and most things hit home hard. I sat in those classes feeling extremely uncomfortable because I knew a lot of it applied to me directly.
The truth, or whatever version of it, can hurt and completely throw off your previous preconceptions of what your reality is. Maybe that's why people are so stubborn and refuse to let go of what they think is right.
Either way, I hope I can become a person who isn't afraid to feel and to see things clearly.
There needs to be a healthy balance of introspection and determination. Happiness shouldn't be corralled, but it must be sheltered. Disappointment mustn't be accepted with open arms, but kept close at gunpoint.
ReplyDeleteWe need to constantly battle our own demons while charging ahead in life. It's never easy, but the best way to do it is without restraint. To leave yourself open to the possibility of absolute despair and failure, but also to joy and success.