Tuesday, 19 April 2011

ambivalence

He placed his finger on his lips, and I leaned in.

That was the first time in months I ever felt something, and when I realized, with a sudden force, how lonely I feel.

I've been thinking lately that I tend to sabotage myself, that my avoidant relationship tendencies keep me from moving on and having a connection with someone because I'm scared of being vulnerable, of having these carefully built walls around me get taken down.

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